ppsspb C:

The cycle repeats.

midorihuang — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 10:00:57 +0000

Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

It’s happening all over again. What I always knew. Friends you think who will be there, forever, just leave.

It happened before and it’s gonna happen this time round.

I’m such a believer of people who is never gonna stay around forever.

No matter how much I try to reach out.

Maybe that’s why I’m such a social butterfly, I don’t hang around with just one group of people.

It hurts too much when they start distancing and separating.

I’m destined to be forever alone.

We constantly subject our heart to such feelings, we have lost count of the number of holes and cuts others have left in them.

I suppose I should just install myself with a frozen heart, never to warm up and be susceptible to all those hurt.

On a different note, it’s also the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

Been hooked on cable all day watching the news covering what has happened to the world ever since.

The war that lasted 10 years and have not ended.

What are we to say what’s gonna happen in the next 10.

Who is even gonna stay long enough to see what actually happens?

Maybe I might even be gone tomorrow.

Unpredictability of life, but yet the stories the same.

Ponder, ponder.

9/11 10 years later.. (cobblestonesandheels.wordpress.com)
Remembering 9/11 (horsesass.org)
The power to be… (psychetymology.wordpress.com)

Do you know why I’m single?

midorihuang — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 15:35:12 +0000

Image by theloushe via Flickr

Because no one is ever gonna be good enough. Regardless of looks, wealth or brains. I’m superficial, sue me.

Even when times I feel so alone and depressed, I just won’t go out and find any ol’stranger and stay throwing myself on them.

The constant pain and turmoil one will have to go through is too much for anybody. Let alone myself. Why is it that in everyone’s mind it is constantly to find a partner in life? Is it really that hard to be happy single? Is it that hard to actually stay single?

It’s not that easy to trust anybody at all. I don’t trust you, seriously. Not after everything that has happened, I don’t trust anybody to stay, no one will ever stay.

Jack Rabbits and Juice Boxes (truthseeker411.wordpress.com)
Thoughts on Being Single (theeharshreality.wordpress.com)

Some people are just so….

midorihuang — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:44:00 +0000

wired weirdly.
Was on the bus today, and sat in front of this loud mouthed aunty. She was blabbering on her phone at such a volume that every single person was practically in her conversation.
Me, being so bad assed tired and lethargic today decided to just move a few seats to the front but not before giving her the stink eye and a small sound of disapproval.
This lady started insulting me, hurling vulgarity at me like nobody’s business. Cursing me, my family, my ancestors. I was so mad when she started dissing my mum. I wanted to seriously go up to her and tell her that, “Yeah I have no dad, what you gonna do about it?” And moving along with me as I changed seats. I have no idea what’s she trying to do, is she trying to provoke me further by irritating me with her microphone voice? Is she gonna bitchslap me? But no, she just kept blabbering on about how young I am, how rude and disrespectful I was. Seriously, who is the unmannered one here, hurling vulgaruties and cursing my family. I doubt that is well mannered in any culture or any society. People were staring at her and the scene she was making and she felt no shame to stop but continued throwing insults.
Why would anybody do that? Are they constantly on the search for attention? Would it make them happy if I created a scene and started arguing with her on the bus? Does she want to make either one of us stomp famous? Even while on public transport, it is common courtesy to actually speak at a moderate volume and not be a mighty loudspeaker.

Who can I call my friends?

midorihuang — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 08:38:00 +0000

They come and go just like everything else. Never staying, never truly being there. How do you judge whether someone is worth investing the time and money into.
What if after years together, they still leave? The memories together will then be meaningless without their companion.
The laughter and jokes we once shared never the same again.
Everything in life is never gonna stay long, nothing ever stays long enough. People make such big promises of always being there for you.
But, yet in the end, they still leave as fast as they trampled into your life.
Life ain’t like the Sims, you force them to talk and they become instant friends. It ain’t easy to find someone whom you can click easily.
Maybe I should just curl into a ball of spikes, keeping everyone and everything at arm’s length, and never allowing myself into all these attachments, maybe I won’t feel as hurt by them. Hurting them before they start hurting me, maybe I won’t feel the pain then.
But without all these attachments, there ain’t really a need to actually survive in this horrible cruel place we call home.
How is this even home if people come and go as they please, they say oh, I miss you so, but yet, when a little crack appears and they suddenly become totally unrelated.

Are we just plain lazy to keep in contact or did we just become too busy to bother with each others lives?

Trust no one, I’d say.

RUHCUS Day 14:Second Chances (onlyconfidence.wordpress.com)
Life hurts (minahawke.wordpress.com)

This post is super-un-awesome.

midorihuang — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 16:05:33 +0000

People tell me that I always seem so confident wherever I go. But deep inside, I think I’m the most awkward and self-conscious person ever.

I hide all my flaws with my insane laughter and flamboyant attitude, it distracts people from the hideous person inside and don’t really show who I really am. People just judge me by my laughter, thinking I’m just another loud obnoxious irritating dumb bimbo(boobs and no brains).

Growing up, I’ve had my share of comments on how I’m

not the smartest
not the fastest
not the strongest
not the prettiest
not the tallest
not feminine
always the fattest.

I’ve learnt to take all these snide remarks and just pretend like they don’t affect me at all. I join in with the laughter and joke about it together with them. Hoping that one day, they’ll just stop bringing me down. Somehow, it still comes up, someone will talk about something horrible and link it to me. And again, I’m the centre of all their jokes.

When does this ever stop? Will it ever stop?

Is it because of my loud attitude that people are so envious of my confidence that they’re trying to bring me down with their words, or it’s something they just think it’s funny? Are they trying to show that they are the superior species?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will always hurt me deep inside.

What is normal?

midorihuang — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 15:52:27 +0000

How would you define normal?

Social norms are the accepted behavior of a culture of a society or group.

If being normal is something that we all yearn for and actually aim in life, wouldn’t that make us blatantly boring people?

Is our purpose in life truly to be ordinary folk and not extraordinary?

If being not normal in life is frowned upon, is looked down upon, is disgusted and thrown stones at for, then wouldn’t that make those ignorant people the Voldermots and Hitlers & us the mudbloods and jews of the society?

Or would we want to be something special?

Every single one of us is born and bred differently, we do not all follow the same set of rules growing up and do not have the same social standings in life.

Being normal means we will have to conform to the standards and force ourselves into a state of normalcy. How would that bring about the changes we see in the society right now?

We would not have Barack Obama, the first African American President of the United States, we would still be in a society where racial discrimination and gender discrimination would still be happening. We definitely will not see the changes we see in our lives everyday.

Asking questions and being ultimately curious about random stuff is who I am. Since young, I have been laughed at for all my ‘stupid’ questions, and no one has ever bothered to listen to me or my opinions because of such.

I try my best to be who I am and be who I want to be with no regards to the frowns of the society I live in. I dance to my iPod on the public transportation, I walk with swagger & style and express my discontent. I live my life to the fullest and never be damned by ******* around.

“Normal” Personalities (opinionswerelikekittens.com)
It’s All a Matter of Strengths and Weaknesses (acceptingdifferences.wordpress.com)
Beating Normal (roguetraderette.wordpress.com)

What and what?

midorihuang — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 14:40:19 +0000

Does the good things we do in life cancel out the bad things we commit?
Is it alright for us to steal if we helped an old lady cross the street?
How is such stuff measured?
Or is it the realization of our dumb acts and it’s consequences mean that we have noted the severity of our actions and never to do it again?
We can fall off the wagon and some how commit another mistake again.
Or do we go through “judgement” at the end of our life and every single error and success is highlighted, measured and recorded to actually determine our standing in life.
Are we sinners or saint?
Or are we judged by ourselves and seen by ourselves whether we have done anything wrong?
The many ways different point of view and how we’re judged comes from a different understanding of the situation.

And on this day.

midorihuang — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 14:40:20 +0000

I seriously don’t believe that someone can have a goal in life to sit at a desk and just draw charts and graphs for a living.
Even if it pays some awfully decent amount of money.
We should be out living our life to the maximum an not waste it at a job.
And maybe that is why finding a aim in life is so difficult for me.
I don’t want to just look forward to the weekends.
I want to look forward to a daily enjoyment and excitement of what drives me.

Define happiness.

midorihuang — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 05:36:20 +0000

How do you know you’re happy?
By assessing your happiness quotient?
By comparing yourself to others?
Looking at your life in general and seeing what you’ve accomplished?
How do you actually believe it really is what it actually means now?
What if it’s a mindset deeply set in your mind from young?
How do you actually know what is happy?
The feeling of content?
The feeling of enjoyment?
The ability to have everything?
What if everything that is happening now is just a figment of your own imagination in some twisted game some higher power is just playing upon you?
How do you actually know?

Such a big word.

midorihuang — Mon, 23 May 2011 10:43:47 +0000

I don’t understand how people feel love. It’s such a big word, and so overused.I can say I love cats, but that doesn’t mean I’d make love to cats, right?

Love is nothing compared to all the other shits that supposed to happen. But yet, everybody believes in it so much. Like how love will cure every single damn problem. I doubt so. I would gladly say money is the most important, but people would have so much more to say about that too.

With all the stories being told, x meets y, x falls in love with y and vice versa, lives happily ever. It’s become a warped up image in our mind of having to fall in love with somebody in order to survive.

People are in relationships because they fear loneliness. They get so comfortable with each other that they fear the loneliness they get if it’s separated.

The constant need to seek companion to be able to survive. And sadly, I too feel the same way sometimes. Being alone tends to drive one crazy. In such a case, me.

ppsspb C:

The cycle repeats.

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Do you know why I’m single?

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Some people are just so….

Who can I call my friends?

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This post is super-un-awesome.

What is normal?

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What and what?

And on this day.

Define happiness.

Such a big word.