The cycle repeats.

Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

It’s happening all over again. What I always knew. Friends you think who will be there, forever, just leave.

It happened before and it’s gonna happen this time round.

I’m such a believer of people who is never gonna stay around forever.

No matter how much I try to reach out.

Maybe that’s why I’m such a social butterfly, I don’t hang around with just one group of people.

It hurts too much when they start distancing and separating.

I’m destined to be forever alone.

We constantly subject our heart to such feelings, we have lost count of the number of holes and cuts others have left in them.

I suppose I should just install myself with a frozen heart, never to warm up and be susceptible to all those hurt.

On a different note, it’s also the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

Been hooked on cable all day watching the news covering what has happened to the world ever since.

The war that lasted 10 years and have not ended.

What are we to say what’s gonna happen in the next 10.

Who is even gonna stay long enough to see what actually happens?

Maybe I might even be gone tomorrow.

Unpredictability of life, but yet the stories the same.

Ponder, ponder.

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Who can I call my friends?

They come and go just like everything else. Never staying, never truly being there. How do you judge whether someone is worth investing the time and money into.
What if after years together, they still leave? The memories together will then be meaningless without their companion.
The laughter and jokes we once shared never the same again.
Everything in life is never gonna stay long, nothing ever stays long enough. People make such big promises of always being there for you.
But, yet in the end, they still leave as fast as they trampled into your life.
Life ain’t like the Sims, you force them to talk and they become instant friends. It ain’t easy to find someone whom you can click easily.
Maybe I should just curl into a ball of spikes, keeping everyone and everything at arm’s length, and never allowing myself into all these attachments, maybe I won’t feel as hurt by them. Hurting them before they start hurting me, maybe I won’t feel the pain then.
But without all these attachments, there ain’t really a need to actually survive in this horrible cruel place we call home.
How is this even home if people come and go as they please, they say oh, I miss you so, but yet, when a little crack appears and they suddenly become totally unrelated.

Are we just plain lazy to keep in contact or did we just become too busy to bother with each others lives?

Trust no one, I’d say.

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What is normal?

How would you define normal?

Social norms are the accepted behavior of a culture of a  society or group.

If being normal is something that we all yearn for and actually aim in life, wouldn’t that make us blatantly boring people?

Is our purpose in life truly to be ordinary folk and not extraordinary?

If being not normal in life is frowned upon, is looked down upon, is disgusted and thrown stones at for, then wouldn’t that make those ignorant people the Voldermots and Hitlers & us the mudbloods and jews of the society?

Or would we want to be something special?

Every single one of us is born and bred differently, we do not all follow the same set of rules growing up and do not have the same social standings in life.

Being normal means we will have to conform to the standards and force ourselves into a state of normalcy. How would that bring about the changes we see in the society right now?

We would not have Barack Obama, the first African American President of the United States, we would still be in a society where racial discrimination and gender discrimination would still be happening. We definitely will not see the changes we see in our lives everyday.

Asking questions and being ultimately curious about random stuff is who I am. Since young, I have been laughed at for all my ‘stupid’ questions, and no one has ever bothered to listen to me or my opinions because of such.

I try my best to be who I am and be who I want to be with no regards to the frowns of the society I live in. I dance to my iPod on the public transportation, I walk with swagger & style and express my discontent.  I live my life to the fullest and never be damned by ******* around.

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How’d you feel about believing?

Watching last week’s episode of Glee, it was all about God, or believing in something.

Is there something I believe in?

I’m not sure.

Not to sound egotistical or anything, but I believe in striving hard for myself.

It’s not about praying or anything that works.

It’s about how hard you push yourself to be better.

I don’t if that will cause me to end up all alone in life.

But who can you trust?

You put all your trust in God, and what if things just don’t go the way you ask him for.

It’s all about striving hard for yourself.

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When

we were young, we had such great dreams.

To be the President.

To be the a world famous explorer.

To be recognized as a world famous superstar.

But as we get older, we lose these dreams.

We don’t forget them, but we compromise on them.

We sell them off bit by bit.

And when we finally realise it, you’re stuck in a dead end job, trying your best to make ends meet.

In the end, we are all working just so we can have a pocket full of money.

How will we ever make something out of what we dreamt?

And I will continue in the search of what I want.

Wish me luck!

Being scared

Being scared let’s you know that you are on to a important decision in you life.
If you have no opinion about the choice you’re about to make, it’s best that you don’t interfere and stop others in their path of their passion.
Why do something you are not head over heels? Give it to someone who really needs it and am totally passionate about it.
Do your best, or do nothing at all.
Why waste your time and other’s time?
I believe to do everything to the best you can, don’t ever regret what you’ve done.
Or else it’s a life lesson wasted.
Be proud of who you are, of how great you can be.

I realise

that the only person I call now is my mum.
The only person who ever calls me is my mum.
The only time I go out is on Saturday if anyone is free.
I spend everyday at home watching tv.
The only time I’m out of the house on weekdays is when I go to work.
My friends are too busy.
I alienated most of my friends for the past two years.
I have a horrible job where I have no friends.
The only way I’m interacting with people is through the Internet.
I was so desperate, I even tried out chatroulette. Which was horrible and I saw naked people masturbating and stuff.
My only way of de-stressing is sitting at home.
Looking at the walls.
I need some interaction with real humans.
My life stinks.
I’m so desperate for contact outside my home.
I need to get out.
I need to meet new friends.
I’m not socializing, I need to go out.
Where is the safest place to meet strangers and be friends?

Do not be afraid

Image via Wikipedia

of making mistakes.

It’s when you learn a lesson and grow to be stronger and wise-r.

I admit I have done some stupid stuff, stuff thatI regret deeply.

But I know I won’t be who I am without these stupid stuff.

I am ashamed of these mistakes.

And they haunt me sometimes.

I grow up knowing I should never do them.

And I make decisions with these mistakes in mind.

I beat myself up sometimes for being so silly.

I’m doing my best to stand up and walk again.

I wish I can run like I do, like when my life seems a whirl.

Everything just seem to move so fast and I enjoyed it so much.

But life’s a dull now, work seems to just draw so much energy from my spirit.

Bless me with the luck to stand up and be tall.

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What if

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

the world as we know it, would suddenly end in apocalyptic means!

What would you do?

Will you run to the person closest to you and hug them close?

Will you help those in need and let them live a second longer?

Will you run and search for your loved ones and tell them how much you love them?

Will you be regretting all the time you’ve lost with your friends and family?

Will you be thinking through all the happy moments you had?

Will you be running around and screaming like a crazy person?

Will you sit and enjoy the moment, where the world is at rage and enjoy the beauty of the moment?

No one can predict what they will do, and neither can I. For now, I would most probably be running to the nearest person next to me and get on it like rabbits. Or maybe I will be enjoying the moment.

Maybe I won’t even be alive when the world is at its end.

But have you thought about it?

Appreciate what you have now though, you won’t know what you’ve lost till it’s gone.

Comment with your thoughts.

I really really want to know.

Any country

that you visit, you will definitely see people begging.

No matter how old they are, young kids, old people or even adults. They use different methods to wrench your hearts. Sitting in wheelchairs,  being blind, having no legs or just perfectly healthy. You would not know if they are faking it or really that weak.

I wonder why can’t they just get a normal job. I believe there is a job for them if they are willing to look for one. It’s not like Singapore has got no opportunities for anyone. You can see people who’s deaf working at KFC, or communities and groups that help these people who are not as able-bodied as us to survive in this society.

Even on the streets, if they are not begging, they are standing in corners of the street pushing themselves onto people to buy tissue paper from them at 3 for $1. Which is unreasonably priced, but Singaporeans call them Karma Tissue. But, in a busy street like Bugis, you can find around 10 such people doing that. It’s totally crazy!

Some people are so crazy from begging they come up to you while you’re eating, get down on their knees and really beg you to ‘donate’.

Such people really get on my nerve, they can easily find a job if they want to, but they are just not willing to or they have just given up hope and decide not to believe in themselves anymore.

Comment with what makes you so pissed, or a story of what you’ve experienced before.

Money.

I was reading a post about how children nowadays don’t like carrying coins.

And if they do receive any coins, they’ll either give back to the cashier as tips, or throw it away.

I do admit I was like that too when I was younger.

But money needs to be treasured, because the universe will grant you whatever you want.

If you disregard coins like this, the universe will ensure all your life, you will be penniless.

Until you repent.

If you don’t start appreciating things in life, one day, you’ll definitely be unworthy of alot of things.

If you really don’t like to carry change, carry a coin pouch along with you, and clear it into a bowl at home.