Do you know why I’m single?

Image by theloushe via Flickr

Because no one is ever gonna be good enough. Regardless of looks, wealth or brains. I’m superficial, sue me.

Even when times I feel so alone and depressed, I just won’t go out and find any ol’stranger and stay throwing myself on them.

The constant pain and turmoil one will have to go through is too much for anybody. Let alone myself. Why is it that in everyone’s mind it is constantly to find a partner in life? Is it really that hard to be happy single?  Is it that hard to actually stay single?

It’s not that easy to trust anybody at all. I don’t trust you, seriously. Not after everything that has happened, I don’t trust anybody to stay, no one will ever stay.

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And on this day.

I seriously don’t believe that someone can have a goal in life to sit at a desk and just draw charts and graphs for a living.
Even if it pays some awfully decent amount of money.
We should be out living our life to the maximum an not waste it at a job.
And maybe that is why finding a aim in life is so difficult for me.
I don’t want to just look forward to the weekends.
I want to look forward to a daily enjoyment and excitement of what drives me.

And on this day.

I seriously don’t believe that someone can have a goal in life to sit at a desk and just draw charts and graphs for a living.
Even if it pays some awfully decent amount of money.
We should be out living our life to the maximum an not waste it at a job.
And maybe that is why finding a aim in life is so difficult for me.

How do you know?

What life has in store for you?

What if things just won’t seem to look up?

What if your best moments have passed and you’ve plateau-ed?

Should I just believe and strive on?

Believe that I will make it and don’t let setbacks bring me down.

Even if these setbacks are some that I’ve never experienced before and am doing my best to overcome them.

But they are like waves, pounding on me just as I’m about to stand up again.

Am I in need of help?

Or is it something I have to figure out myself?

Life is so complex in such a way, you’ll never know what is in store.

Even as you secretly hope it goes your way.

Shower me with love.

I’m just so tired.

Thanks.

Do not be afraid

Image via Wikipedia

of making mistakes.

It’s when you learn a lesson and grow to be stronger and wise-r.

I admit I have done some stupid stuff, stuff thatI regret deeply.

But I know I won’t be who I am without these stupid stuff.

I am ashamed of these mistakes.

And they haunt me sometimes.

I grow up knowing I should never do them.

And I make decisions with these mistakes in mind.

I beat myself up sometimes for being so silly.

I’m doing my best to stand up and walk again.

I wish I can run like I do, like when my life seems a whirl.

Everything just seem to move so fast and I enjoyed it so much.

But life’s a dull now, work seems to just draw so much energy from my spirit.

Bless me with the luck to stand up and be tall.

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Any country

that you visit, you will definitely see people begging.

No matter how old they are, young kids, old people or even adults. They use different methods to wrench your hearts. Sitting in wheelchairs,  being blind, having no legs or just perfectly healthy. You would not know if they are faking it or really that weak.

I wonder why can’t they just get a normal job. I believe there is a job for them if they are willing to look for one. It’s not like Singapore has got no opportunities for anyone. You can see people who’s deaf working at KFC, or communities and groups that help these people who are not as able-bodied as us to survive in this society.

Even on the streets, if they are not begging, they are standing in corners of the street pushing themselves onto people to buy tissue paper from them at 3 for $1. Which is unreasonably priced, but Singaporeans call them Karma Tissue. But, in a busy street like Bugis, you can find around 10 such people doing that. It’s totally crazy!

Some people are so crazy from begging they come up to you while you’re eating, get down on their knees and really beg you to ‘donate’.

Such people really get on my nerve, they can easily find a job if they want to, but they are just not willing to or they have just given up hope and decide not to believe in themselves anymore.

Comment with what makes you so pissed, or a story of what you’ve experienced before.

Money.

I was reading a post about how children nowadays don’t like carrying coins.

And if they do receive any coins, they’ll either give back to the cashier as tips, or throw it away.

I do admit I was like that too when I was younger.

But money needs to be treasured, because the universe will grant you whatever you want.

If you disregard coins like this, the universe will ensure all your life, you will be penniless.

Until you repent.

If you don’t start appreciating things in life, one day, you’ll definitely be unworthy of alot of things.

If you really don’t like to carry change, carry a coin pouch along with you, and clear it into a bowl at home.